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Six-Month Update On Moving To Portugal: How Is Everyone Doing?

Six-Month Update On Moving To Portugal: How Is Everyone Doing?

Last updated: October 27, 2026. This update places the family’s school and cultural observations in their historical context and adds a resource for persistent distress. Date information added October 28, 2026.

First published March 18, 2022. This post reflects our family’s early settling-in period in Portugal. School, language, work and our thoughts about parenting are from that point in our lives; each family’s experience can differ.

Given the flood of questions about our relocation to Portugal and being American expats, I’ve taken the plunge and launched a second blog titled ‘American Family in Portugal’. Join us as we share our journey and insights into expat life in this beautiful country!

We are almost 200 days into our first international move.  We’ve been planning to move to Portugal since October 2019, but Covid derailed our plans like so many well-laid plans worldwide.

Why Portugal?  After 2.5+ years of full-time family travel, our five children were ready to have some time “settled.”  Seeing the world is magical, but the thought of pets or sports is equally magical for a child.  Of all the 35+ countries we’ve visited, Portugal stole our hearts!  We love the beauty, the beaches, the weather, the people, the food, the culture, and its location in Europe.  You can read our move to Portugal post here.

We’ve settled into Lisbon, found a house, bought a car, enrolled our five kids in school, joined a basketball club, and adopted two Portuguese dogs!  

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Of course, we’ve also managed to travel to about eight different countries in that time frame. Travel is our true addiction, guilty pleasure, and a source of great joy to our family.

How is everyone doing with our move?  I get asked this often. Are the kids settling in?  Are we speaking Portuguese?  Let’s dish!

The Kids After Six Months Abroad

To say moving to a foreign country has been easy would be a flat-out lie.  It’s been really, really difficult.  We expected it to be difficult, but it’s similar to trying to anticipate the birth of your firstborn.  Everyone says how hard it will be, but can you ever know before you do it yourself?  Nope.

Our original short about the school transition: New School, New Country, New Language. Our Kids Are So Brave!.

The isolation, loneliness, apprehension, anxiety, and difficulty have always been overwhelming for us.  Trying to assimilate into a new culture doesn’t feel comfortable.  It feels foreign (because it is) and gives you little time to just relax and let your guard down.

Attending School in A Foreign Country

From the start of school and for the first five months, we had at least one child crying hysterically every night at bedtime about going back to school the next day.  Many nights, there was more than one child.  To know that you, as the parent, have subjected them to this experience against their will and hearing them cry gutted us every night.  

So many nights, we doubted ourselves to some degree, looked at each other with that knowing eye of “What the HECK ARE WE DOING?” or wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry.  

The kids have felt isolated at school, like they don’t fit in, and overall lonely.  Lucy, our oldest, seemed to make great friends at first but crossed some invisible cultural boundaries since, and they have gone as far as bullying her.

The younger kids are having an easier time as younger kids are just more accepting, but it also depends on their personality.  Our 8-year-old is still so lonely at school, even after six months, that he often tries to talk to his teacher during breaks.  She speaks wonderful English, and I think he feels safer talking to her than trying to face the other boys in class.

For families facing persistent distress that interferes with home, school, or friendships, the National Institute of Mental Health recommends speaking with a health professional.

Reasons Why It Might Be So Hard

At the school our children joined, many students already knew one another after years together. Joining an established class was one of the challenges our family faced.

At our children’s school, the parents seemed to know one another. I was slowly invited into a few class text groups, but I still didn’t feel part of the group and often couldn’t tell what people were discussing.

At our children’s school, the day usually ran from about 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. They had a long stretch away from home, which was difficult for us.

Their day included two shorter breaks and a long lunch break. Compared with the U.S. schedule we knew, the total class time felt similar, but the children spent more of the day away from home. They disliked that, and so did we.

After coming from 2.5 years of world schooling while we traveled full-time and one year of school in the US on a reduced Covid schedule, this uber-long day wears them out.

As newcomers, we found it difficult to fit in. We didn’t eat the same way or love the same foods, couldn’t yet speak Portuguese as people around us did, and didn’t know the games or jokes. We often couldn’t keep up with conversations. That was our experience then.

It Is Getting Easier

However, it IS getting better with time, and time will be our friend.  The kids are slowly becoming more comfortable with Portuguese.  They are starting to speak, even a little, with us at home.  They are learning the subtle customs, playground games, and classroom etiquette.  

Some funny examples of things we’ve had to adjust to:

• At our children’s school, bringing toys from home for recess was customary. Some sports equipment was provided on certain days, and classes rotated through different play areas for Covid safety at the time. There wasn’t much to play with; the school was housed in an old Portuguese mansion. It took me a while to understand that the boys needed to bring toys.
• My kids didn’t want to eat the school lunch during their first week, so we packed lunch instead. You would have thought I sent the kids with rocks for lunch. They were simply outcasts! They were put into a room, alone to eat their cold lunch, while all the other kids at school lunch together. They very quickly came home, crying, and told me it was only school lunch from here on out. We paid extra for this at the time, which we felt was much healthier, and the lunch attendants made them eat the healthy parts before they could go play. Woo hoo!
• The uniforms were a beast! It was a huge learning curve to ensure each child had the right uniform, pattern, and style each day. Each child had a different gym day, and gym-day jackets could not be worn on regular days (and vice versa). We spent about $2,500 on uniforms.
• I had ZERO ideas what I was doing with the parent conferences. I could understand almost nothing and missed important information. I took the approach that if the teachers needed me to do something, they would have to email me personally. I couldn’t keep up with the dozen or so weekly emails, all in Portuguese, and often missed assignments, activities, birthday parties, and more. I tried to be patient with myself; thankfully, the school administration and teachers were patient with me.

How Have People Reacted To Us Moving There?

We felt welcomed by many people we met, and our affection for the culture grew quickly. That was our experience during that period.

That welcome made settling in easier for us, though we still had mishaps.

We’ve offended people, such as the woman cooking dinner for us on our work nights.  She didn’t like how we handled her holiday pay and screamed at us for over an hour, swearing never to come back. 

We made mistakes as we learned unfamiliar customs. I often felt conspicuous as an American newcomer. When we traveled in Germany, Switzerland, England and Scandinavia, I sometimes felt we blended in more easily; in Portugal, I felt more visibly American. Those were my impressions.

I sometimes felt people expected us to know local customs, and I understood that as part of being a newcomer. I would want visitors to learn customs in the United States, too.

I was aware of concerns about foreign investment and housing costs, but I can’t speak for how widely those views were held. I also met people who were welcoming and interested in other cultures.

Are We Learning The Language?

One of our hopes in moving abroad was to learn the language.

None of us, even Chris, who already spoke Portuguese from a mission to Brazil, are totally fluent.  We all hesitate and stumble over our words.  Most of us understand the Portuguese we hear (depending on the speaker and speed of their speech) but don’t have the confidence or ability to converse back.

However, each week it’s a little better.  I’m noticing that I can now pick up Portuguese even when I’m not focused on it.  When we arrived, I’d have to use all my concentration to translate the words in my head, but now many feel the same as their English counterparts.  

I’ve been taking Portuguese classes downtown, which has boosted my confidence and helped a ton.  Being able to speak the language is a must for all of us and I am so grateful for this “school” experience myself.

I wondered whether the kids would feel more comfortable speaking Portuguese at home if I used more of it. I felt overwhelmed by how much I still had to learn. We used a few words at home and had a long way to go.

For a short time, I worried about the kids’ English skills, so I started reading to them in English each night. We were also considering British high schools if we stayed in Portugal and wanted to build their writing skills. Those were our concerns and plans at the time; every family’s language experience is different.

One funny note: I’ve noticed the kids don’t understand me when I speak Portuguese to them because I speak it incorrectly or with a terrible accent!  They are immersed in Portuguese 10 hours a day, and I don’t sound like they hear.  They will have to help my accent as we get more comfortable.

Working US Hours in Portugal

Maybe the most difficult part of living here lies in our work hours.  With the kids gone 10+ hours a day already, it kills us that we start work right before they get home and work late into the night.  Our only overlap with them is the middle of the US daytime.

Our work schedule is 3 pm – 1 am, usually.  We try to take a “lunch” to have dinner with the kids, but Chris is lucky to get even an hour of his busy day to see the kids.  Many days he doesn’t see them at all.

I’ve tried to strictly block off 6-10 pm but rarely get all of that away from work.  I miss having work and that stress done for the day while being with them.  Instead, our email boxes and messages are piling up and causing stress during our time with them.  This doesn’t make for the best quality time with the kids.

Why did God lead us here with this work schedule, I have yet to find out.  However, it’s all good. It just takes discipline and understanding coworkers.  (In case you are new, we run several online marketing businesses and have amazing staff worldwide!).  Thankfully, most of them are also parents and put up with our crazy travel and time zone needs to be with our kids.

Growth And Adversity As A Blessing

As difficult as this whole experience has been, we took on this challenge as a couple, knowing it would be difficult and ready to embrace that.  As humans, we all desire to progress in this life, bringing us immense joy.  That progress rarely comes without difficulty.

At the time, we hoped that learning a language, finding our way in a new place, and taking on meaningful challenges would help our children grow. That was part of how we understood this difficult chapter as parents.

We felt blessed to have a good income, good health, and the chance to travel the world together. We also wanted our children to have meaningful responsibilities and opportunities to grow. That did not mean our family was free of difficulties—far from it. We’d already faced some, and knew there were many years of growing up and finding their way ahead.

We hoped that working through challenges would help our children build confidence and self-worth.  We firmly believe that this experience will be for their good overall.  Especially the difficult parts.

This experience will serve them for the rest of their lives.  They may hate us now (not that they do… but at times they do… LOL), but time will give them perspective on what we chose to do as their parents.  Even if they are never grateful for it, I imagine at some point. They will respect it for what it was.

In the meantime, we try to get through the occasional accusation of “you are the ones who brought us here” or “ we want to go back to the US” and let time ease us slowly into our new life in Portugal.  Each week feels more comfortable and more like home.  Already, I know it is home for me in many ways, and we will continue to build family memories and new traditions to solidify those feelings even more.

Thanks for coming along on our journey!  Drop any more questions in the comment section below.

Xoxo,

Leslie

Additional Reading

First Anniversary Of Living In Portugal: How Are We Doing?

My Experience Learning European Portuguese: Portuguese Connections School in Lisbon, Portugal

How To Obtain A Portuguese D7 Visa For Your Family: Everything You Need To Know